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  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: "Guren no Yumiya" from SNK
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
Hey. Not much has happened, however I may be uploading Attack on Titan art again (mainly AruAni and RivaMika) soon. I took three hours the other night catching up with the manga. 12 chapters is too many. @.@ But at least I'm into it again.  School is hectic and boring as always. Meh. I'm going to try to upload more stuff eventually. Again, I'm lazy. And I'm still not taking or doing requests unless I want to do requests. And I don't at the moment. I'm too lazy to do my own art. Anyway, just thought I'd update that I'm into Attack on Titan again (though I honestly don't feel like I missed much since January, LOL).

Also, rest in peace, Gunnar Hansen, aka the original Leatherface. :'(

(And yes, LayaliNamit, I will upload more Chamiko. Lol)
  • Mood: Irritated
  • Listening to: "BathWater" by NoDoubt
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
Hey guys. Just wanted to say I'll be uploading more art this week or next week. I'll have mostly Death Note art, because I've been obsessed with Death Note again. My love came back full force. Sorry for being so lazy lately. >.>
  • Mood: Uneasy
  • Listening to: "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been super active on here. School, you know? Anyway, thanks to being pressured by :iconfaylinameir: and :iconjimathers:, I decided to try my first livestream tonight (nah, just kidding, they didn't pressure me. I wanted to but was unsure, but Fay and JiM convinced me to and even encouraged it. JiM even sent me his old webcam and microphone headset so I would have no more excuses lol). I'm not sure if I'm going to draw in my sketchbook via webcam, or just ink and maybe colour drawings on my computer instead. I guess it depends on whether or not I can angle the webcam so you can see me draw. If not, I'll have to buy a tripod or something. Anyway, yeah, I'll try to be streaming tonight, I just need to do a test on OBS to make sure things work like how I want them to and to get used to the software. Gah, I'm just nervous to talk haha. Doing the drawing itself may not be that bad, but talking gahhh, makes me self-conscious. >.<

Anyways, I'll try to stream tonight around 7/7:30 pm EST. When the stream is going, I'll update you all. Here's my channel in the meantime:
However, if you want to chat in the chatbox, you'll have to have an account. You don't have to chat if you don't want haha.

See ya next time

  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: "Diet Mountain Dew" by Lana Del Rey
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
Hey guys. Back again with a useless journal. Just wanted to say that school's been back in session for me since last week, and I'm quite busy, but I'm still drawing art to upload here! I'm doing smaller work loads so I don't get so overwhelmed. Maybe once a week or every two weeks I'll probably still upload maybe 10 pictures or something. I dunno. School's okay so far, drawing class is AMAZING, but my other classes bore me lol. And going to and from my art class, I have such heavy stuff to carry to and from the building (my community college has multiple buildings for different departments...quite a hike, if you ask me), and when I go to my last class I'm always sore and aching, out of breath, and feeling like my lungs are going to pop out of my chest. I need to get in shape. Anyway, I'm still going to be drawing and uploading stuff, but gotta juggle school alongside here as well. :) Also, since school is in session, I'm still not taking any requests.

Also, mom's going to call some doctor on Monday to set up an appointment to see me so we can discuss me getting a gastric sleeve surgery performed on me to help me lose weight. Believe me, guys, I've tried everything, but I always gain weight back more each time I lose it. This is my last chance if I don't want to get diabetes or heart problems or whatever. This is big for me. I hope I can be approved to get this surgery done, it's very important for me. :worry:

Other than that, things are going okay. Just wanted to let you all know I'm back in college this semester. Woooo.

  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: "Kiss With a Fist:" by Florence and the Machine
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
Hey guys. Been a while since my last journal, so I thought I'd return with some boring updates.

First off, I'm going to try to be more active with uploading art here. I literally spend an entire week finishing up TONS of art that I scanned en masse, so expect a shit load of art to be submitted soon today. I have never been so fucking happy to get art done. I know I say this every time, but I honestly think I went overboard this time with finishing up art. Never. Again. And this is why I don't take requests anymore: I'm too fucking lazy to do my own art, and when I do, I overexert myself to the point of pure exhaustian. Anyways, I'll be submitting art later on today. For right now, I gotta let my laptop cool off for a bit.

ALSO! I'm going back to college in a couple weeks. I know, I know: "But April!? I thought you said school was too stressful and that you were glad to withdraw from your college!" Yeah, I know. Only here's the thing: This time, my mom is finally letting me go into the art major this time and take art classes (the first time I had art as a major, I was in University and I fucked up both semesters at university, so I had to go to community college and mom dictated what path to take. "Well if you think about being a teacher, then take teaching classes! You already messed up art at Wright State, so now what I say, goes" basically). I mean, sure, at my community college, Art is only a certificate or something and not an "official" major and stuff, but you know what? I'd rather earn just a certificate and be HAPPY with my classes and my path rather than getting a degree or whatever and being miserable earning it. Art is what I love, even if I'm super effing lazy. It's my passion. Despite all that interests me, art is what drives me most. That's why I'm glad to finally get into art classes to get a "degree." Granted, I still have yet to see an academic advisor and plan out my classes, but you know. But I looked ahead at what classes I would take and I'm ecstatic beyond belief at the overwhelming amount of art classes needed to take. Granted, I still gotta take stupid English Comp and Communications classes, but whatever. At least I don't have to take math! :giggle:

Anyways, after staying up until 3am this morning finishing up the last of my art, I've thought about for a while to just submit some fan art that is done traditionally (colour penciles, prismacolor markers, etc) instead of going full blown digital on it. Why? Well, not only because digital makes me weep with self pity when I scan too much fan art, but I've noticed that for pictures that take me two hours digitally, I could have finished it completely coloured with coloured pencils or whatever in just an hour or so. Plus I really need to use my prismacolors and colour pencils. They're hardly used. Lol. So if in the future I submit traditional artwork, that's why.

Enough of my rambling. See y'all later when I submit en masse!

  • Mood: Outraged
  • Listening to: "Bang Bang" by Soho Dolls
  • Eating: Saving my appetite for a grill out later, yum!
I'm currently pissed off. My e-mail account, the one I've had since 2004, has been fucking hacked. I've had my suspicions for months, but I'm really starting to acknowledge it exists. I think the hacker is some fucking Russian. >.< For example, for many months, I kept getting my inbox filled with fashion newsletters I never even subscribed to (the only sites I've signed up for email newsletters are from sites like IJReview and other Conservative sites), and got several e-mails from someone at one of those Russian mail sites, like or something like that. It all started months ago, I think. When I ordered some Foamy merch from, I had to use PayPal. Now, I tried signing up with PayPal before, but it was too confusing so I quit and deleted my account before I could finish (whenever I use PayPal to buy stuff, it's only to use my e-mail and billing info, no account needed). Then the next month the bill came in, my card was charged $100 when I only spent about $35 on Foamy merch and $7.99 for Netflix. Something was fishy, but I paid no mind to it. And now, every so often, I get e-mails sent to my kiddypatches account telling me that my ebay and skype accounts have been suspended due to "suspicious activity," when I know for a fact I haven't done anything bad. Then today, I tried to log into my Origin account, and it told me my password was incorrect, despite me entering it EXACTLY the way I did just last night. And so I changed it, and I tried to change my e-mail that I had on my account (I got a new Yahoo e-mail today), but the security question answer was deemed "incorrect," even though I KNOW what I put for my answer. I'd never lie and put something stupid I'd never remember. And now I gotta call EA tomorrow and get it sorted out, or at least try to. I've heard EA's help line is horrible. >.< But I need to get this under control. Once I get EA sorted out, I'm deleting my e-mail for good. Stupid hackers. I don't understand why they can't leave people's accounts alone!
  • Mood: Apprehensive
  • Listening to: Pink Floyd, "Great Gig in the Sky"
  • Watching: A Clockwork Orange
UPDATE: I got one. It's itanatsuchan if you wanna follow.

Hey again. I've been thinking, and, as much as I dislike Instagram, I'm tempted to make an Instagram to follow people I like who have one, and so if I finish a doodle or drawing I'm too lazy to scan, I could just post it on Instagram. I'm not sure. I probably will get one. I'll only follow a couple people so my news feed won't be cluttered with duck faced selfies or peoples lunch. Meh. If I get one, I'll update you guys.
  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: "Still" by the Geto Boys
Hey guys! I just realized today is my seven year anniversary of having a deviantART account. :XD: Well, I created my OLD account 7 years ago today (now deactivated). I've come a long way as a person and an artist. I still shudder when I remember back to the things I said and did on my old account. I'm so embarrassed at how horrible and immature I was. And my art, good lord. I've come such a long way since 2008. I've learned a lot over the years. :XD:

Anyway, I went to the doctor this morning for a follow-up to see how my prescriptions are helping and stuff. Luckily my thyroid is back to the number it needs to be. However, the doctor said the numbers for my cholesterol were quite high, so he prescribed be some medicine, I think it's a generic version of Lipitor (I don't know how to spell it xD) to try to get my cholesterol under control. Well, if I exercise and lose weight, it'll no longer be necessary to take this new prescription. Damn you junk food for being so tasty! :shakefist:

Just a small update for now~ ta ta~
  • Mood: Excited
  • Listening to: NOTHIN
  • Watching: General Hospital
I just got my new phone today! It's a droid max! I'm so happy to be back with Android. Never again am I getting apple. >.> too many problems. Anyway, I'll try to upload art again soon. I just need to not be so lazy XD and I just started playing the Sims 2 for the first time last night. I'm already hooked! (Though sims 3 is still better in my opinion XD) gah sorry for all that rambling. I'm just psyched because of my new phone! :love: also, am I the only one who keeps getting BOMBARDED with irritating app advertisements that take up the whole page every time I go somewhere on mobile? -__-
  • Mood: Stumped
  • Listening to: "He Loves You Not" by...somebody, I forget XD
  • Watching: Steve Wilkos
Hey guys. I'm a bit stumped here and a bit agitated. I've come to the conclusion that either I can't be on the internet on my laptop for very long, or be on the internet PLUS run an antivirus scan with my antivirus program whenever it detects a threat. I've come to the conclusion it's probably the latter, because the past two times I've done both at the same time (last Saturday early morning, and earlier today as a matter of fact), my computer gave me the Blue Screen of Death. Maybe the laptop just overheated from all of that processing information. I think it could be that, too (although if computers overheat, they blue screen every time upon use, so...meh), since my laptop seems to get hotter while using the internet for too long. Even when playing the Sims or any other high-processing games, my computer doesn't overheat that much. But then again, Windows just installed a crap ton of unnecessary updates last week, so that could be another reason. Months ago, back in August, my computer blue screened because of updates, but it only happened once and I forgot about it. Computers are fucking annoying, I swear. :/ If I had the money, I'd buy myself a better computer, but alas they cost an arm and a leg these days. Oh well. Ignore my rambling. :XD:
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: HoodoHoodlumsRevenge reading "Jane the Killer"
  • Watching: YouTube videos
I know I say this a lot, but recently I found more old art of mine from like, 2007-10. I really want to redraw them all, so whenever I submit more art eventually, it will definitely be redraws of old fan art of mine from way back in the day. Meh. It's 3am, I can't sleep. :faint: Woohoo, though, I'm gonna play Facade later though. Woot!
  • Mood: Sentimental
  • Listening to: "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum
  • Watching: YouTube videos
Hello again people~:iconpatrickiloveyouplz:

I'm back with another unimportant journal entry. HOORAH! :la:...^^;

Well, some new stuff has kinda happened to me recently (not much, nothing important XD). First of all, last week I got my hair dyed to burgundy~! :love: I LOVE it!!! It makes me feel like a totally new person! Also, the other day at the Salvation Army, I got myself a new chair for the desk in my room. This one has a back to it, has wheels (that suck), is very comfortable, and SPINS!!!!! :la::excited: When I clean my room next week, I'll start using it. Hopefully this way I'll be more inspired when I draw. :D

Also, this week, I had pulled a muscle in my back when I was sleeping, so for days my back hurt like hell. :faint: It hurt to even move just a teeny bit or get out of bed and stuff. :( Luckily my back pain is 90% gone today. Thank goodness for that. @_@ Also lately, I've been watching a lot of the original Star Trek for the first time (I've watched it with mom almost every day for the past two or three weeks), and I'm loving it! :love: It's on that new channel, ME TV, it shows old TV shows from like the 50s-80s. I've been watching it a lot with mom and I'm starting to like some of those old shows like Star Trek, Emergency!, Welcome Back Kotter, Superman (with George Reeves), and so many more. It's an awesome TV channel. :D

As for art, I'm working on some pictures now, so they should be up by Sunday or Monday. Tuesday at the latest. I wish I didn't draw, scan, and colour art in bulk. @__@ it always takes FOREVER to get them done. :faint:

This coming week, I'll be busy cleaning my room. :XD: And hopefully this week me and mom can finally see the new Spongebob movie. :excited: I hope it's a good movie. :D I am looking forward to it a lot! :la:

Also, I think I'm planning to do a Gaara x Ino comic. I already have some ideas in my head for a story. But first I have to brainstorm the layout and stuff. :XD: I'm looking forward to doing it! However, I want some quick advice: there is a long flashback scene that sets up the story/is tied in to the story quite a bit. Should I put it in the first chapter and go from there or put it in later to explain the things that happened up to that point? Gah I fail xD

Anyway, see you all next time!
  • Mood: Sentimental
  • Listening to: "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum
  • Watching: YouTube videos
...I now ship GaaIno. I didn't think it was possible. :faint: But now, I am complete smitten with this crack pairing! :love::date: I've tried to like this pairing in the past by watching videos and browsing fan art, but it never seemed to appeal to me. I honestly don't know why, but a couple hours ago I felt like looking up GaaIno art again to try once more to see its appeal and ship it, and I think it finally worked because so much beautiful fan art FINALLY converted me to a shipper of Gaara and Ino! :excited: I guess my shipping tastes finally changed. :D I just find this couple adorable and hilarious at the same time! :giggle: I even have some fan art ideas of my own brewing in my head~;) I'm really glad I gave this couple another chance. :la: TIME TO READ FANFICS!!!! :excited:
  • Mood: Euphoric
  • Listening to: "The Intruder" by MoMo Wu
  • Watching: Baby Blues (2013 film)
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
Hey guys! Today is :icontotal-nerdasaurus:'s birthday! Go wish her a happy birthday! :la:

Happy birthday, Amy! :D

(It's also my moms birthday today, too. Woohoo!)
  • Mood: Euphoric
  • Listening to: "The Intruder" by MoMo Wu
  • Watching: Baby Blues (2013 film)
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
Hey guys! ^_^

I'll be uploading art again soon, hopefully. Anyway, I was watching some Shane Dawson on his vlogging channel, Shane, and he was reacting to his old videos, pictures, and all that stuff. It reminded me of something I've been thinking about doing for the longest time, though I never did it.

I've been wanting to "react" to old fan art of mine from as far back as I can remember (at least seventh grade...maybe even before, but my room is so messy and I have tons of sketchbooks as it is from just the past few years xD), or at least show it to you guys on a video and link it here. It'd be like a little trip down memory lane and that way it shows how much I've improved since like 2007. Maybe I might react to old videos I made on my earlier youtube accounts, too. Who knows? :XD:

I don't know if I'll do it or not, but I just thought I'd put this out there in case I do decide to do it one day. :D

Also, thank you guys so much for almost 100,000 page views and almost 1,000 watchers! It really means a lot to me! :hug:

-:heart: April~
  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: "The Intruder" by MoMo Wu
  • Watching: Baby Blues (2013 film)
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
I was bored, so I decided to do this journal meme I copied from my boyfriend. :love::blush:


(Some things I'll elaborate on xD)


Turn on = ON
Turn off = OFF
Doesn't matter = DM

Is taller than you = ON

Is shorter than you = DM

Is older than you = ON

Is younger than you = OFF

Has blue eyes = ON

Has green eyes = DM

Has brown eyes = DM

Has black eyes = DM

Has hazel eyes = DM

Has long hair = DM

Has medium hair = DM

Has short hair = DM

Drinks alcohol = WAY OFF

Smokes weed = OFF

Has blonde hair = ON

Has brown hair = DM

Has black hair = DM

Has red hair = DM

Has a nice butt = DM

Plays a musical instrument = DM

Calls you just to say hi = ON

Compliments you = ON

Creative = ON

Shaves his/her legs = DM

Wears jewelry = DM

Has bigger feet than you = DM

Has smaller feet than you = DM, feet are feet.

Belly piercings = DM

Doesn't party = ON (I'm a stick in the mud in regards to parties xD I prefer reading a good book)

Likes to party = OFF

Wants to party = OFF

Laughs a lot = ON

Funny = ON

Tattoo = DM

Honest = ON

Open = ON

Shy = ON

Quiet = ON

Licks lips = DM

Bites lightly = DM

Talks dirty = ON

Leaves you random comments = ON

Competes with you on stupid little stuff = ON

Dresses gangster = OFF (unless it's Mafia gangster :drool: I'm a sucker for fedoras and suits :heart: )

Dresses preppy = OFF

Dresses skater = DM

Dresses athletic = OFF

Dresses hick = DM

Smokes cigarettes = OFF BIG TIME

Does pills = OFF (unless it's for a legit medical purpose like I do, I.e. Thyroid prescriptions, Advil, anti-depressants, etc.)

Plays sports = OFF

Can skate = DM

Writes lyrics = DM

Smiles a lot = ON

Has good teeth = ON

Has spiky hair = OFF

Has no hair = OFF

Good dancer = DM

Muscles = OFF (well, I don't mind SOME muscle tone; I just dislike big burly muscles. I prefer my guys and girls average and skinny :D)

Laid back = ON

Plays guitar = DM

Plays drums = DM

Raps = OFF.

Can draw = DM

Has a lip ring = OFF

Has a tongue ring = OFF

Has nipple piercings = OFF

Hugs you = ON

Hugs from behind = ON

Calls just to hear your voice = ON

Goes to church = DM

Can do stuff with his/her tongue = DM

Has dimples = DM

Has facial hair = DM (just not a Santa or Duck Dynasty beard. A simple moustache is just fine with a slight beard :D)

What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual

Places you like to be touched/kissed? Anywhere, really :D (though I've still yet to be kissed or anything xD)

Places you don't like to be touched/kissed? My feet. I'm too ticklish, and that's not my thing.

Any fetishes? I like some bondage (not 50 Shades of Grey...yuck. More like, being tied up by my hands), and I love being dominated. Also, foreplay/role playing.

Are you dominant? I prefer being dominated by a guy. :drool: I like that control. :love:
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: "Lift Me Up" by Lena Katina
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
Well guys, I finally did it. I withdrew from my remaining semester at college. There was literally NO way to bring up all of my failing grades. I was way too far behind, so unless all my classes assigned extra credit worth a bajillion points, there was no way I would pass. Withdrawing would look better on my transcript than D's and F's. This semester was way too overwhelming for me. I'm glad I withdrew. My mom had even suggested I do it. Seriously, I only had like 3 or 4 weeks left and there's no way I could bring up my grades as they were. I'm just glad I got it over with. Maybe next year I'll be more focused, but for right now, college isn't an option for me. I may probably look for a job this summer or something. :shrug: At least now I'll have more time to work on art when I want to instead of school holding me back.

Also, guys, I'm at almost 100,000 pageviews! :la: I'm so excited! I never thought I'd get this far!
  • Mood: Amused
  • Listening to: "Robot" by t.A.T.u.
  • Watching: The Mask
  • Eating: Cake
  • Drinking: Sprite
This is about a week late, but I just want to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday last Wednesday. :love: It really meant a lot to me! Last week was really fun~

I had slept in until about noon. When I woke up, me and mom, and my grandma and stepgrandpa went out for dinner at a Mexican Restaurant in my city (it's been a tradition for the past few years now for birthdays). Luckily mom didn't tell the employees this year it's my birthday. I was so not looking forward to them singing "Happy Birthday" to me and plop on a big heavy sombrero on my head. :XD:  After dinner, we had cake and I got to open my presents. For my presents, I got:

-Season 17 of South Park
-Mr. Peabody & Sherman
-Nickelback's album "Dark Horse"
-One Republic's first album, I think it's called "Dreaming Out Loud" or something like that.
-A GameStop gift card
-A Barnes & Noble gift card
-An iTunes gift card

After dinner, me and mom went straight to the mall where I got my ears pierced again for the third time (I had gotten my ears pierced in 2003 but they grew back; I got them pierced again on my 13th birthday in 2008 but they grew back after I had an unfortunate incident with my right ear as well as an infection...*shudders*), and I really like how they look! I also went shopping around the store I got my ears pierced in and got a few more earrings as well as an iPhone 4 case that says "If I Had a British Accent, I'd Never Shut Up." Aw yeah!

Then, I went to Hot Topic, one of my favourite stores ever! I got:
-A Death Note shirt with a chibi L
-An Alice in Wonderland tote bag/purse
-Attack on Titan earrings
-A Sailor Moon keychain

Then next door, mom found a nice store for plus sized clothing, and so I finally found some really nice bathing suits my size for this summer! I also got a very nice skull bracelet, and mom got herself lots of cheap bracelets that were on sale. I love that store now, too! But sadly the stuff there is so expensive. ;-;

Lastly in the mall, I went to GameStop and I bought a couple of Wii games (it's sad how just plain Wii games and PS2 games are getting harder to find at GameStop), a Freddi Fish game, and I also got Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games! :la: I was a bit annoyed, though. :XD: The game I had wanted to play SO MUCH two years ago, Calling, they didn't have back then, but this time, they DID have it! I was so aggravated. XD Well, not really. I really wanted to play it years ago, but after watching Pewdiepie play the full game, I realised how boring and slow the game really is. Oh well~

Then mom took me to Five Below where I got:
-A new laptop cooler
-An Alice in Wonderland book
-A Goofy plush
-Lots of pocky and Japanese candy
-Grumpy Cat stickers~

And that was the end of my day on my birthday last week. I also got a few gifts from some friends and a wonderfully FANTASTIC video made by my lovely boyfriend~ Here is a link to his video for me~:

So again everyone, thank you so much for the birthday wishes last week! :hug: And on a good note, my antidepressants are working WONDERS for me! I feel so much better now~

  • Mood: Agony
  • Listening to: "The Intruder" by MoMo Wu (from Baby Blues 2013)
  • Watching: A Haunting
  • Eating: Pocky
  • Drinking: Sprite
Hey guys. Long time to journal. Well, my 20th birthday is in two days. Whoop-de-friggin-do. I know I left on a depressing journal last month, but this journal is no better. It's nothing bad, vent. Honestly, I have just been in a godawful mood these past few months. All because of school, what else? This is just like what happened last year when I went to a university: I completely lost all motivation in the second semester (though at university I didn't give a shit either semester). However, this year, my last semester was perfect: not too much of a workload, not too much stress, etc. And yet this semester I can't bring myself to do any of my work. I know, I know, schoolwork is important and blah blah blah, but believe me, I've tried. I can't get caught up this semester. I feel like all of my classes are moving too fast for me, and they ask for too much to be done for assignments. Especially my English Comp and Early Childhood Education classes. It feels like the assignments keep getting bigger and bigger with less time. And the math and psychology are also too demanding. I feel like I finish one test, and before I know it, another one pops up within the next couple of days. It's honestly ridiculous. I've even told my mom how I felt about school, and she can't understand where I'm coming from. I know she wants what's best for me and doesn't want me to end up unhappy in a job like her, but I honestly can't help it. It's just way too much to handle for me. Am I not doing the work because I'm lazy? Sure, partly, but I'm not doing the work because I've become too overwhelmed this semester so far, and the stress isn't going away because I have too much to do and only about a little over a month left of this semester and I don't see any signs of my grades improving. I've really tried this semester, but I can't help it. Math in this semester is unbearably difficult for me, psychology just isn't clicking with me, ECE has required too many big projects that I can't do, and one I can't even do because I don't have the resources for one project, and English Comp requires too much of the computer and internet that I can use, as well as deadlines being ridiculously too soon after being given. I just can't take it anymore.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just in a big fucking rut. I can't do anything right these days it seems. Because of this, my depression just won't get any better. I'm the kind of person where the more I have to do something/a specific deadline, I am least likely to actually get motivation to do the specific task. I do want to success in college and get a degree, but I want to do it when I'm ready and when it makes me happy. I don't want to end up like Chris Chan, jobless and a complete bum...*shudders* I vow that I will eventually get through college, even if it takes me forever. But as of right now, I just don't see its appeal if I'm forced to do things I don't want to do. And it doesn't help that teachers don't seem to understand either. "Oh, for this assignment you need to observe a young child and report on their progress. Oh you know no one with a young child? Well, ask your classmates, I'm sure they could help." ...Yeah, sure. Some parents are gonna let a complete stranger watch their kid and ask questions about their age "milestones" for a class project. I very highly doubt that would sail well with people. Plus most of my classmates' kids are in high school or they don't have any at all.

Anyways, I'm sorry for being depressing again. I just really wanted to get this off my chest. Depression can be a fucking bitch. Thank goodness I now have prescription for it.

Heh. My birthday is on Wednesday and I don't even know what to ask my mom for my gifts. Oh well. When you get older, you run out of things you want. :shrug: I hate getting older. :XD:
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: "The Beast" by Imogen Heap
Today is my dear friend's birthday. Or, at least, it would be. He would have been 21 dear friend :iconlorddarkness0:, who passed away months ago. I miss him so much every day, and I've been sad a lot lately. I miss him. I just wish he was still here so I could tell him himself happy birthday. *sigh* You don't know how important someone is to you until you lose them.